“the” talk

Filed Under Tips & Tricks | September 18, 2009

Have you had “the talk” yet? You know the one; you were mortified by when it was your parents talking to you, and it’s not looking much better now that you’re the parent.

Mostly out of embarrassment, some parents will put off talking about sex with their kids – hoping that they will ask when they are ready. They may, or they may not.  However they will pick up information from their peers. It’s virtually guaranteed that what they learn at recess will not be completely accurate, or safe  – far better that they hear about sexual health from you.

Based on the “if you build it, they will come” school of thought, some parents worry that sexual health education will lead to their child being sexually active earlier. In fact, children that are well versed in sexual health are more likely to have a strong respect for the responsibilities that come with sex and put off experimentation.

It is important to differentiate between facts and values. Local sexual health educators Meg Hickling and Saleema Noon talk about “Body Science”. “Body science” is the facts that your child needs to take care of their sexual health. While we each may want to set our own family guidelines about what our child can do when they grow into a young adult, all children need these facts.

Plus, treating sexual health as “body science” takes out the ‘yuck’ factor for kids (“scientists don’t say yuck, they say ‘In-ter-es-ting!’”).

Why do we need to talk to our kids about sexual health? Statistical evidence shows that when children are well educated about sexual health there are lower rates of sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, abortion, suicide, teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. We educate our children to make them less vulnerable.

Why should we be talking to our pre-schoolers about sexual health?

1. Younger children have less baggage around sexual matters; so will be more open to listening to you.
2. If you are your child’s first source of information, there is a far greater chance you will be their number one source for sexual health information as they grow.
3. A large part of teaching sexual health is to communicate to a child that they have ownership over their own body – and for their protection the earlier they know that the better.

Of course even with the best of intentions it can be hard to know what to say, and when. Next Friday we’ll start you off with a snapshot of sexual health education for the preschool and primary years, and point you to some great resources to see you through.

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