beyond belly rubbing

Filed Under Pregnancy and Birthing, Tips & Tricks | June 25, 2009

Pregnant women are renowned for their belly rubbing.  The soothing circles helps you feel connected to your growing baby.  Each kick and tumble is a reminder that there’s a little person in there.

Your partner, on the other hand, has a very different relationship with your growing baby.  Your burgeoning belly can seem abstract and it may be hard to connect your big belly with the reality of a baby inside.

Pregnant women often share their frustration with this apparent lack of bonding.   For many partners, however, the real bonding begins after birth, and their relationship with baby during pregnancy in no way reflects who they will be as a parent.

Their ways may be different from yours, but partners can enjoy a very real connection to baby.  Here are a few ways we’ve seen partners enjoy the nine months of pregnancy:

Getting Ready: Preparing the home is an integral part of connecting with the reality of a baby on the way.  Whether these take the form of renovations, crib construction or shopping trips, they all represent hands-on ways for partners to be involved, feel useful, and get excited about the changes to come.

Sharing: Reading to baby or singing through your belly is a beautiful and fun way of building connection.  Remember that this could mean reading the newspaper aloud, playing guitar or singing a tune from Coldplay. If you need inspiration check out Oh, Baby, the Places You’ll Go, which is designed to be read in utero.

Hanging Out: While some partners treasure feeling the baby kick inside your belly, for others this just doesn’t foster their relationship with baby.  Some partners instead enjoy giving a nightly belly massage to help combat stretch marks, or simply being quiet (or active!) together each evening before bed.

However your partner chooses to bond prenatally, remember that there is nothing that can compare with the feeling of having your baby in your arms.  Soon enough you will be parents together, and you’ll witness a whole new realm of bonding.