the secret of pregnancy loss

Filed Under Favourites, Pregnancy and Birthing, Tips & Tricks | April 2, 2009

The first trimester is rarely easy – morning sickness and fatigue play a part, along with the uncertainty of a new pregnancy.  Miscarriage is the unspoken fear, and for those who have lost a baby, it may be an unspoken grief for years to come.

The loss of a baby in the first trimester can be heartbreaking.  The silence of the first trimester means that most of us have had dear friends lose a baby without our ever knowing it.  Friends and family that do know about a loss don’t always know what to say or do, and we may find ourselves without the support we need.

Here are a few resources to help support you or a friend should you learn of a pregnancy loss:

Share

Share your loss with friends and family, and you will soon find yourself in a circle of women who have experienced similar grief.  It can be deeply comforting to share in the loss with loved ones and know that you too will find healing over time.  This stunning article from O Magazine captures this circle of support.

Learn

This site on pregnancy loss features both helpful information and support for healing.  Here is a beautiful article from Mothering Magazine chronicling one woman’s journey.  And don’t forget your partner. Men tend to respond differently to miscarriage, as described in this article, and may need different support.

Honour

Many women find it helpful to honour their loss in some way, whether through a ceremony, a special ring or necklace, or even a tattoo.  Acknowledge and honour yourself as a mother by journaling your story.  Many choose to name their baby, and share this with others.

Heal

Find the space and time you need to rest, eat nutritious food, and know that the time will come when you are ready to conceive again.