with a little help from your friends
Filed Under Tips & Tricks | March 2, 2009
This month Jenny Schafer of Evolved Parenting tackles the topic of how friendships change when we become mums, and how they continue to change as our children grow:
We noticed what we termed a ‘friendship cleansing’ after the birth of our first child, and we found ourselves stewing over the injustice. During diaper changes and late night feeds we’d ruminate “Why doesn’t she want to come and meet my baby? We’ve been BFFs for years and now she’s suddenly too busy for me. And what’s with her non-stop talk about her life that doesn’t even relate to me?”
But these ‘lost’ friendships also open the door for new friends. Mummy group friends. Family members we’d lost touch with. Old and new pals who also have kids and who become a network of support during the amazing yet challenging transition into motherhood and beyond.
Unfortunately not all friendships are supportive. If you’ve got friends who are toxic and draining, now might be the perfect time to do a bit of spring friend cleaning and seize this moment to say goodbye. Children are like sponges and we encode their ‘emotional DNA’ with our role modeling, so it’s important to think about how healthy your relationships are. Are you setting a positive example of how to attain and maintain loving and respectful relationships? Are you proud of the people in your life?
As for those ‘lost’ friendships, have no fear, with a little bit of work the most valuable of them can be regained when your kids get a bit older.
Jenny Schafer, creator of Evolved Parenting, is a mother, social worker, trained daycare provider and former nanny. For our previous columns from Jenny click here, or email Jenny your parenting questions at jenny@evolvedparenting.ca.
One Response to “with a little help from your friends”
Leave a Comment
Let us know what you think or share your great finds with us so we can share them with other Vancouver mothers!
I like the daisies swimsuit