Do as I do
Filed Under Tips & Tricks | October 1, 2008
For the last few months Jenny Schafer of Evolved Parenting has been focusing on discipline, for yourself and your kids, but this month she’s talking definitions and labels and how what you think – and say – affects who you are.
How do you define and label yourself? We typically respond by saying what we do. If you’re a stay at home mum you may say “I’m just a mother,” or “I don’t work, I stay at home”. As if that’s not whole heap of work! Or you may proudly proclaim your place in the world “I’m the proud mother of two and I work hard at raising them and keeping our household running.”
Beyond how you define what you do, how do you truly define yourself? Do you stick with nouns: mother, wife, caregiver? Do you define yourself with positive attributes: strong, positive, funny, compassionate? Or do you define yourself with negative descriptions and labels: a bad mother, fat, unhealthy, depressed?
Not to go all The Secrect on you, but placing negative labels on ourselves attracts negative consequences into our lives. For instance, if you repeatedly say to yourself “I am fat,” you will remain overweight or unhappy with the way you look until you change your thinking because if you think you are something you become that. Imagine if you were to say these negative labels out loud?
It’s also important to encourage our children to define themselves in their own positive way rather than creating labels for them to live up to like ‘princess’ or ‘the tough one’ or ‘the cute one.’ Labels, even those that might seem positive, affect children and give them something to live up to.
Take a minute to think about how you present yourself to the people in your life. Is this how you want to present yourself to the world and to your children? Is this how you want to live? Do you know who you are and who you are presenting to your children? Remember, you are your child’s most powerful role models. They are listening and noticing everything you say and do and hopefully you want them to do as you do, not just as you say.
Jenny Schafer, creator of Evolved Parenting, is a mother, social worker, trained daycare provider and former nanny. She welcomes your questions about parenting. For more information visit www.evolvedparenting.ca or email Jenny your parenting questions at jenny@evolvedparenting.ca.
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Purl Mama wish list com’in atcha!
Love the web site (except all the great items that are sold out- boo!)
Love the amenity nursery organic deer floor pillow!
The Nursery Bumper Insert!
and the Dwell baby Bottle Holder (transport themed)
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Madeleine
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