We are family
Filed Under Tips & Tricks | December 18, 2007
In the midst of all the holiday hustle and bustle it can be hard to find time to pause and connect with your kids. We asked Sharon Selby, a local child counsellor, and the brains behind the Phonics Wizard, for some ideas about how to give our kids what they really need, and starting to teach them that Christmas is about more than just getting stuff – it’s also about celebrating what you already have.
Christmas is a commercial extravaganza, but with some thoughtful planning it can be a wonderful time of year. The last minute rush and madness may be upon you, but it’s not too late to sit down and brainstorm as a family and decide how you want to celebrate your faith, family and friends.
The book, A Quick Guide to Good Kids by Virginia Bentz, offers simple tips for teaching children how to be thankful. You can also start a tradition of showing gratitude by cutting out yellow construction paper stars and writing what each of you is thankful for on each one. Then use them to decorate your family dinner table for a special dinner or on a regular night.
And though it may seem obvious, the best gift you can give your child is quality time with you. Make reading to your child (no matter how young or old) a nightly tradition with both parents, if at all possible. It’s a perfect time of day to be close, cuddle, tell stories and share your thoughts and feelings.
Physical touch is also important. Massage, hugs, face painting, play wrestling, and making a game of feeding each other are all ways of keeping attachment strong. Gordon Neufeld, a local expert on attachment theory and author of the must-read book Hold on to Your Kids, says that teenagers are turning to their peers as “family” because they don’t have strong connections with their parents. The more quality time you spend with your children, the deeper the bond, the more they will respect you, listen to you, and be enjoyable for you. And surely that’s a gift that keeps on giving?
Sharon Selby, B.Ed., M.A., is a local child counsellor. She is passionate about the positive relationship between mastering reading and increased self-esteem. She is the author of The Phonics Wizard Reading Series: a learn-to-read program for parents to teach their own children early literacy skills for ages 2-7.
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