We like to start off each month with tips and ideas from our parenting expert, Jenny Schafer of Evolved Parenting. Her monthly columns are designed to help us over common parenting hurdles. This month Jenny’s column is about the power of words.
Are you ever shocked to hear your child say a word or phrase that she could only have heard from you and your immediate reaction is, “I wish she hadn’t picked up on that.”
We’re always saying to our children ‘use your words please’ when trying to encourage proper language skills. But what about the words we use everyday? How do you talk to the people in your life? During conversations with colleagues, family and friends, are you positive, negative, whiny, polite, friendly, rude?
Step back for a whole day and take note of the things you say to all the different people in your life? Do you focus on the negative by gossiping or focusing on the things you don’t have? Do you interact more positively with some people than others? Do you focus on what your spouse it not doing or constantly bicker with your partner? Do you use words and phrases such as ‘I might try that’ or ‘could you please’ or ‘thank you’.
At the end of your day, write down each person you talked to as well as the tone and context of the conversation. When you review your list what patterns do you see? Are you respectful with your words? Are you generally positive or negative? Do you talk about meaningful things? Do you frequently complain, or are you a glass half-full sort of person? Are you modeling the kind of language and content you want your children to learn? Would you be proud of your child if you overheard him talking like you?
Our words are powerful, and it’s important to choose them wisely. Although we’re the first to admit that we all have our moments, trying to encourage positive language from your whole family benefits everyone. And when your four-year-old says, ‘What a lovely afternoon’ or ‘May I please help you’, you’ll know you’re on the right track.
Jenny Schafer, creator of Evolved Parenting, is a mother, social worker, trained daycare provider and former nanny. For more information visit evolvedparenting.ca.