We all like to think that we’re evolved parents, but sometimes the behaviour of our little ones really gets us in touch with our caveman roots. That’s why we’ve turned to local parenting expert, Jenny Schafer, founder of Evolved Parenting, for a monthly column to help us over some common parenting hurdles. This month Jenny talks about making room for two.

A common question here at Evolved Parenting is how to a help an older child adjust to a new sibling. We encourage parents to be firm and consistent in their interactions with their older child(ren) as they welcome a new addition to the family. Child(ren) thrive on routine, positive discipline and clear direction on what to do, as opposed to what not to do. Using positive discipline throughout the day encourages autonomy and self-discipline in children. But in the heat of the moment it can be hard to remember what positive means, so here are a few examples:

• Use consistent positive reinforcement such as “great job cleaning your room today” or “I can see you’re really trying to get along with your little sister.”
• Time-aways – when you sense a tantrum building try and remove your child to a calm, enjoyable space to prevent things from spiraling out of control
• Problem solving techniques such as asking open-ended questions like “Why did you choose to hit Tommy?” and “Why are you angry?”
• Consistency and clearly outlined rules and consequences

Admittedly, all of these can be hard to maintain when you’re sleep deprived and overwhelmed, but trying to use positive discipline techniques all day, every day can empower your child(ren) towards good choices and a higher level of self-discipline, and wouldn’t that be nice?

Just as our children need boundaries, so do we. Creating strong boundaries for yourself lets people know you are proud of who you are, what you think and what you do. And when you’re clear about your boundaries you are free to live your life being true to your word, your intuition and your beliefs. And the boundaries you create with the larger world can be reflected in the boundaries you create with your children. A home environment with consistency and rules will teach your children not to over-step your boundaries and will empower them to make good choices.

Jenny Schafer, creator of Evolved Parenting, is a mother, social worker, trained daycare provider and former nanny. Evolved Parenting provides courses for the evolving family designed for busy, thoughtful parents to complete in their own time and at their own pace and provides positive discipline tools that parents can use with their children every day.

New today on our list of things to do around town that aren’t affected by the strike:

Keep exploring downtown and visit the Robson Square Waterfalls. This three block area boasts stairs for climbing, multi-layered waterfalls, pools and fountains. You can dabble your fingers in the water, track the flow from the upper levels to the lower pool and enjoy a picnic in the gardens.

Phoenix Gymnastics programs are still running and there are some spaces still available in their summer programs. Plus new member registration starts today and it fills up fast.

And she told two friends and so on, and so on, and so on. . .

We’ll soon be announcing the winner of our July contest, and when you subscribe to yoyomama in August you’ll be entered to win a great selection of books from Random House. Green mamas will want, Ecoholic, a guide to the most environmentally friendly information, products and services in Canada. We’re guessing most mamas could use Whining & Dining, which offers mealtime survival tips for parents of picky eaters and Healthy Mum, Happy Baby which is all about feeding and taking care of yourself while breastfeeding your baby. And the list wouldn’t be complete without something for the little ones, Cock-A-Doodle Quack Quack, a funny, noisy quack along story.

Want to win but already a subscriber? Every time you use the forward link at the bottom of each daily email to spread the word about yoyomama you’ll get your name in the hat!